The Top 10 Tips for Taking Life Less Seriously

Simply put, sometimes things just don't go the way we had expected they would. Typically, our tendency is to go back over our missteps and misfortunes again and again such that it feels as though we are placing ourselves under a magnifying glass! Stop over-analyzing the stuff that is already under the bridge -- it feels much better to move on! While not a prescription for ignoring actual problems, here are tips for stepping back and taking life a little less seriously:

1. Project ahead.

Ask yourself: "How will I look at this circumstance six months from now? A year from now? Then how much will I (or anyone else) really care?"

2. Learn a lesson.

Okay, so things didn't turn out the way you expected. Ask yourself: "What can I learn from this so that I can do better next time?"

3. Look for the positive.

What did you do that was on the mark? Which parts went well? What were you happy about? Looking for the right stuff helps take the sting out of the parts that went off track.

4. Elicit feedback from a trusted family member, friend, or coach.

Permit your confidantes to assure you that things aren't actually as awful as they may look to you.

5. Forgive yourself; forgive others.

6. Understand that failure is often a precursor to success, often in ways that we cannot predict.

Don't forget that countless movie stars, rock singers, politicians, athletes, techno-whiz-kids faced dead ends and disappointments before they found success.

7. Don't dwell on the old.

Put your mental energy -- and action -- into creating a new success for yourself. Start now!

8. You've heard it before: when you close one door, you move down the hall and open another.

Have fun jiggling those door knobs!

9. How to deal with the personal embarrassment of your effort that went awry?

Put away the microscope -- no one else is examining the situation as closely as you are. C'mon now, if Bill, Hillary and Monica can go on and hold their heads up high, well so can you.

10. Get to the underlying issue of why you are taking outcomes too seriously.

Do your expectations of yourself (or others) tend to be unrealistic or unreasonably demanding? So what if things aren't perfect? What is the worst that can happen?

The Top 10 Ways to Knock Out Obstacles

Yes, obstacles have a funny way of cropping up uninvited. A central key to dealing with them is *attitude*! For example, when you see a detour sign on your way to work, do you shrug your shoulders and return back home? Of course not! Obstacles are to be faced and overcome. Here are some approaches to dealing with those "fallen tree branches":

1. Realize that what may be an obstacle for one person may be no big deal for another person, and vice versa.

Ask yourself, is this issue really an obstacle, or am I just choosing to look at it that way.

2. Look at ALL your resources, opportunities and alternatives.

Don't forget to look at how others you know may help you. Engender their support.

3. Take a step back.

Remain cool and objective. If fear or intimidation is part of the obstacle, ask yourself, what is the worst that can happen if I approach this task.

4. Think about what you would tell a friend if they were faced with the same issues.

Sometimes it can be easier to tell someone else how to approach an obstacle and get around it. Act as your own friend.

5. Jump forward, then back.

Think about or envision having achieved your desired end result. Now work backwards to determine what you will need to do to achieve that result. (Who knew that hindsight could be so much fun...)

6. Ask for it!

Try asking directly for what you want. Sometimes that can cut through what was previously perceived as a stone wall.

7. Determine how else you can do it.

What other ways are there to transact business so that you can get to what you want? Barter; give something away; talk about what *you* can bring to the table. Be creative -- until the advent of leasing, driving a new car was an obstacle for many!

8. Use artful persuasion.

Make a good argument for why it's of mutual benefit to the other party to lower or remove the obstacle standing in the way. If given the rationale, people usually would rather please others than not.

9. Break down the obstacle into smaller, more manageable components.

We never eat a meal in one big bite (now that would be an obstacle!). Break it down, down, down.

10. Muster determination!

By doing this, you will gain the energy and momentum needed to knock down what gets in your way.

The Top 10 Things to Do When You Have A Spare 15 Minutes

What do you usually do when you are 'between things' and have a few extra, unstructured minutes at your disposal? Whether you are between flights, appointments, activities or are simply 'hanging out', incorporating any of the following will turn your spare moments into quality moments.

1. Unclutter your surroundings.

Start (but don't necessarily expect to finish) cleaning out or organizing a drawer, desktop or closet. The act of uncluttering will make you feel lighter and give you a sense of greater control because you decide what you need to keep around you. By taking a few minutes to neaten up and clear out, you are doing yourself --and the others who share your environment-- a huge favor. Who knows, maybe you will inspire someone else around you to do the same...

2. Pick up a book or magazine that you have had on your 'to read' list.

Although you spent time and money to purchase or subscribe to the above, you may have lost the urgency to incorporate it into your knowledge base. Maybe you have books or manuals that were distributed at the office, but you never found time to peruse them before. Keep a reading stack at your disposal or bring along a few items in your briefcase or carrybag.

3. Stretch - stretch - s-t-r-e-t-c-h.

Gently stretch and breathe in and out slowly. You will be delighted at how refreshed and energized you will feel. Stretching should not be vigorous - in fact, it should be slow and easy. Don't forget to incorporate light stretching if you have been seated in a car for a long period of time or confined to your seat on a plane. Even if you just stretch your upper body, you will still get the blood flowing!

4. Water and inspect your plants.

When at all possible, keep beautiful, living things in your home and/or work environment. Care for them, however briefly, and they will reward you. Don't have any plants? Bring some into your life according to time and conditions available to attend to them. Any local plant shop would be happy to help you.

5. Enhance your vocabulary.

Pull out a dictionary or thesaurus. There may be words that you have read or heard others use,but perhaps you have been unsure of the meaning of those words. Do you find yourself using the same lexicon over and over to express yourself? Flip through and see what new and interesting phraseology you may pick up. Commit those words to memory and aim to use them that very day. Your vocabulary is one of your greatest assets.

6. Take a good look at your car, inside and out.

For many of us, our car is our home-away-from-home. Make sure it is well cared for between inspections and oil changes: check your tires for wear and for proper inflation; check body for dings and beginnings of rust; make sure wiper blades are in good repair; check fluid levels, especially before embarking on a long road trip. Don't forget to stock necessities such as maps, tool kit, first aid kit, etc.

7. Drink or eat something to support good health.

A good move, especially if this is not your usual pattern. Remember the recommendation of drinking eight to ten glasses of water a day? A glass of fresh water (preferably filtered or bottled) will refresh you and cleanse you. The same goes for a piece of fresh fruit or some crunchy vegetables. Your body --and its resident soul-- will thank you!

8. Sustain your personal connections.

Call a friend, family member to say hello. Communicate at the beginning of the conversation that you only have a short time to talk. Sending an e-mail or a written note is even more efficient and will allow you even more control in keeping to your time boundary. Are you spending your spare minutes together with someone who is close to you in your life? Give them a hug, tell them you love them, SMILE! Letting someone know that they are important to you is a pick-me-up for two.

9. Engage in a personal brainstorming session.

Step off your same old mental track and get those brain cells moving to a different tune! Stretch your mental muscle and conjure up ideas of how to do things in a different way. Ask yourself 'what if' questions and be amazed at the answers --and the possibilities. Be outlandish, if you dare!

10. Thoughtfully stop and appreciate the good things in your life.

Allow yourself to feel lucky -- for the most part, you truly are. Feel the abundance of all that you have, no matter how much more you normally find yourself wishing for. Get in the habit of letting yourself feel fortunate for all the good that has come your way -- and don't dwell on the less desirable things that have wafted through. Every apple tree, no matter how vital and fruitful, will have some blighted apples in its time. Cultivating your positive awareness will prepare you to recognize the gifts that are bound to come your way!

The Top 10 Questions to Ask Yourself when Starting a New Business

Whether starting up a new business or tuning up an existing one, it is essential to be clear on the following:

1. What?

You may think that you are plainly and simply selling a widget, but in fact what you are selling is a bundle-of-benefits-to-the-end-user that is only cleverly disguised as a widget. The same goes for widget-oriented services.

2. Why?

What is your rationale? What is your mission in getting this business going?

3. With whom/to whom?

Who will care?

4. When?

Timing is everything.

5. How?

By what means, logistically or financially? Where in the delivery chain will you be -- start to finish or somewhere in-between?

6. Where?

Location, location, location. Yes, you may consider the internet a location.

7. Who else has done this, and how can you do it differently?

Think clearly about unique positioning of your product or service.

8. What are the benefits to this?

While of course benefits to you are nice, be clear about the benefits to your customer or client -- as they would perceive them (itals).

9. Who will not only sit up and take notice, but respond in the way you want?

These are the people to be reaching.

10. If not now, then when?

If you have a really solid concept, don't let it petrify. Get out there and share your idea with trusted cohorts, asking for their honest reactions. Ask for assurances of complete confidentiality, if appropriate to do so. Don't lose energy by putting things off. Gather your ducks in a row and go for it!

The Top 10 Reasons to Delegate

The art of delegation is anything but the practice of "dumping" responsibility off of your plate onto that of someone else. Delegation requires a vision toward maximizing your time and talents by focusing on the right mix of things to achieve your larger objectives. Here are some solid reasons for dealing out tasks that are best performed by someone else:

1. Frees up your time and energy to perform at a higher level because there is less clutter.

2. Lets you see more clearly what kinds of tasks or projects REALLY could use your direct attention.

3. Dispatches responsibility to others working in your immediate group and fosters team building.

Make sure that the objectives of the responsibilities are clear and agreed-to in order to maximize buy-in.

4. Lends a new dimension as to how things can be done.

Cross-pollination can lead to interesting results!

5. Builds others' skills and esteem.

Lets others have a go at a task previously performed by someone else, most likely someone at a higher level in the organization. Delegating reflects trust in the other party's ability to perform.

6. By appropriately delegating, you create for yourself a more professional, streamlined appearance to the outside world.

7. Delegation reduces delay.

Demonstrates an ability to manage with an eye toward getting tasks into action and not letting them wait their turn on an already-full plate.

8. Creates greater efficiency if tasks are delegated to and performed by individuals with more expertise than you have.

No need to spend time reinventing the wheel. There are outside vendors and consultants for just about anything. Be sure, though, not to overlook in-house expertise.

9. Can help work to get accomplished on time.

Sometimes an outside source is more dependable than we ourselves are at getting something signed, sealed and delivered! Consider automation as a form of delegation.

10. Skillful delegation creates win-win situations for all involved.

This material was created by Marla Platt Copyright 1997, 98, 99, Coach University